You’re the go-to person. The one who shows up, picks up the pieces, and ensures everyone else is okay, even when you’re running on empty. 

In your relationships, you might find yourself giving more than you get, avoiding conflict to keep the peace, or feeling guilty when you put yourself first. 

Does this sound familiar? These could be classic codependency symptoms, which many people experience, often without even realizing it.

In this post, we’ll break down what codependency means, how to recognize common codependency symptoms, and how talk therapy can help you build healthier, more balanced relationships.

What Exactly is Codependency?

Codependency is when your sense of self-worth and identity starts to depend too much on someone else. 

You might find yourself putting their needs first so much that your well-being takes a back seat. 

It can feel like you’re responsible for how others feel or act, and saying “no” or setting boundaries might feel almost impossible. 

Over time, this dynamic can lead to emotional burnout, resentment, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming mutually healthy relationships. 

Left unaddressed, codependency can also contribute to anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation, making it essential to recognize and address these patterns.

What Causes Codependency?

Codependency can start for many different reasons, often going back to your early life and the relationships you had growing up. 

For many people, codependency begins in childhood, particularly in environments marked by addiction, neglect, emotional volatility, or inconsistent caregiving. 

If you grew up in a home where one or both caregivers were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or overly dependent on you for support, you may have learned, consciously or not, that love and safety were earned by putting others’ needs before your own. 

Cultural messages, especially ones that tell you always to put others’ needs before your own, can also play a big role, especially for women. 

If you struggle with low self-esteem or have trouble setting boundaries, it can make you more likely to fall into codependent patterns in your relationships.

It’s also important to consider how COVID-19 made codependency worse for some. The isolation and uncertainty of the pandemic created an environment where it was easy to overlook your own needs while focusing on those of others. 

5 Symptoms of Codependency

Codependency symptoms can show up in many different ways, often blending into your everyday relationships without you even realizing it. 

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward making healthier choices. 

Here are some common codependency symptoms to look out for:

1. Low Self-Esteem and People-Pleasing  

One of the most common codependency symptoms is relying on others to feel good about yourself. You may go out of your way to make people happy, even at your own expense. 

If you say “yes” when you want to say “no,” avoiding conflict to keep the peace, or feeling crushed by criticism, you may prioritize others’ approval over your well-being.

2. Need for Control and Perfectionism  

Another set of codependency symptoms involves the need to control situations or perfect every detail. 

If uncertainty makes you anxious or feel responsible for fixing others’ problems, these patterns may be rooted in a deeper desire to feel safe or valued.

3. Losing Yourself in Others  

Do you often focus so much on someone else’s emotions or needs that you lose sight of your own? 

Becoming overly invested in another person’s well-being is a key codependency symptom, and it can slowly erode your sense of identity.

4. Challenges with Intimacy  

You might long for a deep connection, but also feel overwhelmed or anxious when closeness happens. 

Another common codependency symptom is this push-and-pull dynamic, in which one quickly becomes attached but depends on others to feel secure.

5. Fear of Being Left Behind  

A deep fear of abandonment or emotional withdrawal is a powerful codependency symptom. 

You might hold on tightly, hide your true feelings, or stay in unhealthy relationships just to avoid the pain of being left alone.

Break Free from Codependency With Compassionate Talk Therapy in NY

At SouthEnd Psychiatry, we understand that codependency symptoms don’t develop overnight, and they don’t go away overnight either. 

Our experienced and supportive team of licensed professionals provides a safe, judgment-free, and confidential space where you can begin to unpack these ingrained patterns. 

Through compassionate talk therapy, we’ll help you understand the root causes of codependency symptoms, reconnect with your own needs and identity, and build the confidence to set healthy, respectful boundaries.

Whether you’re navigating codependency on its own or alongside other mental health challenges, our goal is to empower you with insight, tools, and strategies that support long-term emotional well-being and balanced relationships.

Book an appointment with us today, and take the first step toward healing, self-discovery, and change.