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Author: NM
Our Resilient Children Need Healthy Parents
As we trudge (seems an appropriate verb, some days) through the first months of a new year, we’re still blanketed by many of our old stresses. The environment is hard for mothers and fathers who have seen their routines and schedules materially disrupted. And so I’m led to remind you all – THIS IS A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT. So, what in the world do I mean by those words, exactly?
I mean…. Breathe. Pause. Be patient. We’re still in the midst of the pandemic. Our socio-political landscape remains volatile. Unemployment won’t be a quick fix either. Further, our children are still challenged with the uncanny mixture of in-person vs. remote class learning. The point is that we have a chance to set our expectations properly, for the long term, so we can be the best parents we can be for our children. So, to be direct, I encourage you to settle in, accept this new normalcy and stop waiting for things to be “normal” again. Our kids are resilient and they need us to be well strong and healthy!
UNPLUG
If you are unbalanced and unwell as a mother or father, it makes sense that you won’t be fit to best care for your children and healthily guide them through these rough waters. One option we all have from time to time is to unplug, whatever that means for you. And do it without guilt! Not always easy as a parent, I know… But the fact is we are all juggling so much and every person must have a healthy path to recharge and reset. Just do so with open communication… but taking the necessary “me time” is a MUST!
POSITIVITY IS A CHOICE
This is the one which sometimes hits me between the eyes, figuratively speaking. Specifically, we all have the ability to choose where our mental + emotional focus lie – in the negative or the positive. The world isn’t going to change, but where I spend my energy can, and I want to be sure to spend it well. For a real-life example, I have a high-stress career which I absolutely love with all of my soul. One trade-off is that for several years of my young son’s life I didn’t see him very much. A little bit in the morning, and an hour or two before bedtime in the evenings at best. Ugh. But today, as so much of our lives (including my practice!) is remote/virtual, I’m blessed to be with my son at home more, knowing he’s just in the other room. This is precious time to me and I’m choosing to find the GRATITUDE in it.
BOUNDARIES ARE OK
This idea relates to my previous thoughts on unplugging. I’m giving you room, right here, right now – to set healthy boundaries when and where you need them. One boundary may be taking the room to be imperfect. To make mistakes. To get bad news. Please let me remind you – SETBACKS DO NOT EQUAL FAILURE. Setbacks do not equal failure. I said it twice because I’m making a point. And as always, when considering your partner and loved ones, keeping open communication is healthy when defining what your boundaries are, but self care cannot be understated these days.
I hope you took even a bit of encouragement away from this article – I know firsthand how hard parenting in this environment can be. But I thank you for being part of the SouthEnd journey!
Healthy Coping Skills for Stress
As we’ve mentioned in previous posts, these times are making life more difficult for nearly all of us. We identified several areas of negative impact on our emotions and how it can ultimately show up in our behavior. But today let’s take a look at a few things we can do to cope and be proactive while we weather the extended social distancing.
Be You
What “Be You” means is take some time to get in touch with yourself, to identify and reconnect with what makes you… YOU! Make a list, on your phone or the old fashioned paper way, of some of the values you have and how you can still carry those in your community. If you are a naturally generous person then KEEP BEING GENEROUS to people around you. Do you have a gift of making people laugh? Then really grab hold of it and spread some cheer in your neighborhood. Embracing these things about yourself will help keep you grounded and out of too much negative thinking.
Self-Care
This is easy for some folks, and not so easy for others. Look at it this way… You’re going to be no good to encourage, support, be present for your relationships if you’re a wreck yourself. Be intentional about making time for YOU. What is refreshing to you? Recharging? What gives you energy? The activities you come up with are a great place to start with self-care.
This is also a great time to focus on eating fresh, nutritious meals when possible and staying fully hydrated. SLEEP!! Sleep is well-documented to reduce stress levels and we ALL need a little less stress in our lives these days, so don’t feel bad about a quick afternoon nap from time to time if it leads to a better you!
Avoid the Panic
Lastly, there seems to be ample opportunity to be alarmed if one just browses the national news feeds on any given day, with headlines often appearing to indicate the “sky is falling”. But it never does… So, we suggest you stay informed and educated during the pandemic but use caution against over-saturating your brain with repetitive negative news feeds or inflammatory op-ed articles/posts.
Here are a few things you can consider doing on your own to keep anxiety and stress at manageable levels:
- Breathing exercises + Mediation
- Journaling
- Spend time in nature
- Stay connected (isolation often leads us to “stinking thinking”!)
SouthEnd Psychiatry wants you to be well and to feel well in life, but we know these days are especially challenging. We invite you to start a conversation with us, on your terms, in-person or online and want you to know you’re not alone.
3 Ways to Revive Struggling Relationships
We want to talk today about significant others, and how to best nurture a healthy environment for vibrant, growing relationships. While this subject is relevant for any time, it’s particularly important to heed these suggestions now as we’re all living through social distancing. Every relationship has cracks and issues, but living through a pandemic and the stressors which come with it are adding an extraordinary amount of strain to even the most level, healthy relationships.
Schedule Separation
Particularly if you and your significant other are both working from home, it is so important to build areas + times of separation from one another. And having separation in the flow of the day can help too. For example, is there a clear definition between the work day and “family” time? Or does one bleed into the other? Or at dinner, do you just move the papers and laptop out of the way to make room for your plate? More than ever, having a routine which brings a sense of order and structure can be so reassuring to many people, in a world which can seem more chaotic every day. Be sure to separate the mundane, daily, unimportant activity from that which is more sacred, more meaningful, more elevated.
Recognize Efforts
It’s so normal to get lost in our own work and daily activity that we often don’t understand what our partner is doing with the majority of his/her day. We know they “work” or “go to the office” but we often don’t get to observe the pressures, accomplishments, challenges, etc. they encounter. So, make it a point verbalize your appreciation of your partner’s efforts when you see them. Simple acknowledgements can go a long way towards building feelings of empathy and appreciation, for each partner.
Benefit of the Doubt
Here’s the reality: you and your partner are BOTH dealing with increased stress and unpredictability right now. They’re likely emotionally overwhelmed and not trying to annoy you or hurt you. When you communicate, acknowledge his/her feelings, ask questions to help clarify what is being said, and listen to truly understand vs. trying to “defend” or “be right”.
Thank you for reading, please feel free to share with your friends if you found this post valuable. We are always here at SouthEnd Psychiatry to start a conversation and to hear from you!
Keeping Your Head in a Pandemic
While we are all (rightly) focused on the physical and medical impacts and risks of the Coronavirus, SouthEnd Psychiatry will continue to serve the community in the area of mental health as we all navigate through this pandemic. But to get right to the point, the social distancing we’re currently adjusting to is unprecedented and many experts believe many of these measures may be long-term.
The Impact.
This is worrisome because of the negative, lasting psychological impact it WILL have on many people, regardless of their physical well-being. We have seen a sharp rise in patients struggling with many of these negative feelings they may not otherwise typically experience:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Anger
- Loneliness
- Feelings of frustration
- Boredom
These feelings, when left unchecked and untreated, can lead to destructive behavior as fighting, drinking, physical abuse, chemical abuse, etc.
It’s also true a few people may actually experience some positive feelings during the pandemic, although it may appear counterintuitive at first glance. A person may enjoy the increased family time and togetherness, or a slower, simpler pace of life. Of course we are all individual and we’re all in our own unique situations. Some factors linked to an individual’s subjective perception are: housing security, employment status, frequency of remote social interaction (FaceTime, Zoom calls), attitudes about relationships, etc.
Life Got Harder.
What we do know is, for the vast majority of us, life has gotten harder since March and this kind of long-term stress will exaggerate and expose even seemingly minor issues in our lives and relationships, and make just “living” day-to-day an emotional chore. Please start a conversation, we’d love to hear where you are and what you’re feeling.
If you are struggling with feelings of anxiety, depression, or other symptoms, a number of helpful resources exist. SouthEnd Psychiatry offers exceptional and convenient care utilizing a variety of tele-psychiatry, tele-therapy and traditional in-office visits giving you the option to choose how you want to see a psychiatric provider.
Our team of Psychiatric providers are experienced, licensed and nationally certified, professional mental health providers that pride on working with each patient in order to provide team oriented and consistent care at all times.
